[Kyoshiro To Towa No Sora] Novel, Prelude: Chapter II--Kaon's Helix (Part 13-14)

Lethe's Note:


Sorry for the long wait. April has been a really hectic month for me.

These are the final parts of Kaon's Helix, after this it would be the interlude of Mika sama. I should explain that the original text is often in the style of incomplete sentences, --a little bit like poems. That's why I use broken sentences a lot, too.

Please don't distribute without my permission.





PART THIRTEEN



In the Fourth Tower, Treatment Room, Suukei and I reunited.
Her skin was pale, her hair moist, her voice husky and barely audible.
She looked smaller than the first time I saw her, so unreal and so weak.
Her sunshine-like aura had been invaded by shadows, as if she would fall and disappear at an Autumn wind.

Everything was my fault.
Because I lied to her.
I longed for her kiss.
I was intoxicated in my affair.
Despite being an Absolute Angel. (Here Kaon chan used a tone of disgust "...no kuseni".)

I am not a human.
I don't have the conditions to love Suukei.
I knew it.

Regrets and sorrow raided my heart.
My trembling hand slowly overlapped with Suukei's.
So stiff and cold.
How could it be this cold?

"I am sorry..."

That was all I managed to speak.
Except that, nothing came out.
Suukei's name eluded my mouth.

Eluded?
No, that is not true. The truth is that it has disappeared from my heart.
Suukei's real name... disappeared because of reforging.
This fact hit me more lethally than anything.

For numerous times, I have carved this name deep in my heart.
The name of my most cherished person.
However, now......

I tried my best in suppressing the storms of grief that took over my heart.
I can't cry. If I do that, Suukei will also feel sad.
My tears, please stop flowing. Please, don't come out.

Just then, Suukei held my hand back.
"Don't worry about it......Kaon chan......"
"But......I......"
"I am fine. Really"
"......"
"I've been told all kinds of things about Kaon chan......Kaon chan turned out to be a true Angel......"
As she said that, Suukei smiled dreamily.
"To think that I even asked you to be my model......what a great deal that was"
I shook my head wildly.
"Kaon chan is Mika sama's Absolute Angel, yet I willfully retained you"
"......"
"I am really sorry."

No. No. No...
I kept shaking my head frantically.
I am yours......I only belong to you.
I wanted to shout it out like this.
However, Suukei's name, no matter what, couldn't come out.
I could speak nothing.

The engraved traces of claws from "reforging".
The restrainers that were slowly controlling me.
They were so agitating that I could hardly bear it anymore.
If I tear open this chest of mine, and directly reach inside my heart, I must be able to call out her name immediately.

Suukei caressed my back with her hand.
So very gently, as if comforting a kid.

Please, I beg you......don't.
Don't be so kind to me--an Absolute Angel.

"Other than that, I have good news. I......have been allowed to stay with Kaon chan."
"!?"
"As an assigned mistress of Mika sama----though just as a painter, I can help Kaon chan now."
"Mika sama's...mistress?"
"Now that I have Mika sama's permission, I can also draw for Kaon chan. Ne, isn't it wonderful?"
"......"
"Himiko, I even received such a name"
No, that is not Suukei's real name.

To be given one character of the master's name, it is only a proof of Mika sama's belongings. (The character "mi" in Himiko is from Mika, just like Kaon's "ka".)
The so-called help is nothing but to supply me mana, in exchange of her own life. Until one day when she really collapses for good......

Freedom.
Happiness.
Life.
Am I doomed to deprive of these forever? From Suukei?
The blade of ultimate despair was piercing through me.
This is my punishment.
From Mika sama, from fate, and from heavens.
To keep hurting Suukei, the one I love more than anyone else does. This is what people call "cruel castigation".

Suukei continued.
"Himiko...Himiko...fufu, What do you think of this name?" (Fufu is a chuckling sound)
Bottling up her irregular breathing, she forced herself to appear in good spirit.
"...Or, can't I do this, either?"

For me as an Absolute Angel, it's not that I couldn't disobey Accomplice --Mika sama's orders.
No. Not only her orders.
If it is for Suukei's sake, even if I were to be torn into pieces, I'd do it. I would resist even if it's my Accomplice.
If it is for Suukei's freedom, I would burn down this entire world, just watch me.

However, if Suukei, so kind and innocent Suukei knows about it, what would she think?
What if she knew that I had killed Mika sama for her sake.
Her heart would for sure break into pieces.
What she wouldn't forgive must not be me, but herself who caused me to do so.
There's no doubt about it.

So----I----
I slowly shook my head.
"No such things."
"So it's OK then?"
"Yes......from now on, onegai ne......Himiko....."
What came out of my mouth were words opposite of my thoughts.
What showed beyond my mouth was the fake smiles for Suukei-- no, now I couldn't call her so anymore-- for Himiko's sake.

"Great......"
Himiko said so, then closed her eyes.
"Now that I am assured, somehow I feel sleepy"
"Please take a rest...... Don't force yourself."
"OK."
Soon after, her sleeping breathing started.
She must have been exhausted. Even to speak so much was quite difficult.
But she still forced herself to get up.
Only to comfort me and encourage me.

The thread of my endurance broke.
I couldn't stand it anymore.
One tear dropped, and spread into my palm.














PART FOURTEEN


And then, my new battle began.

To defeat Absolute Angel Badras and Claimh Solaris.
To eliminate all enemies of Mika sama.
Until the day when my Accomplice Mika sama realizes all her wishes.
The day when all my tasks have been accomplished as an Absolute Angel.
Until one day, when the two of us can return to that Atelier.
Until then.

Only the moon knows my tears.




(Part 14 fin)






(Kaon's Helix fin)











Lethe's comments:

See, this is why I said earlier (in shoujoai?) that it's hard NOT to like Suukei (Himiko). Just think about what happened to her since the unfortunate event in that Atelier. She languished so much (and that's the main reason why I understand, but can't forgive Mika sama). She was deceived by Kaon, her love, and her life endangered because of her. She was isolated in a completely unfamiliar cell for twenty days, with no one she knew or even cares about her around. She was experimented as a guinea pig and also subjected to the implied torture from furious Mika sama. Moreover, she was taught what it meant to stay with Kaon chan--her identity overwritten, becoming someone else's mistress/ bully object, being forgotten by her beloved little by little, and dying probably ten times faster, too.

However.
In spite of all those, she chose to sacrifice everything she had-- her pride, her freedom, her life (actually, her property as well, that Atelier looks like hers--but that's minor)--all for her love. With these in mind, it's fair to say that each of Himiko's kisses consists of her deepest love for Kaon chan.

One might say she could be smarter. For example, she could first refuse Mika sama's offer, then try to reach Kaon chan and elope together. But if you think twice, that won't work. Not to say that Mika will find them eventually, what would happen is that self-blaming Kaon chan, waking up to find that Suukei has left, will think that Suukei hates her and never dare to seek her love again. Of course Suukei's kindness and dedication to Kaon chan probably didn't make her consider that at all. :)


BTW, Kyoshiro's drama CD has been released! I was just listening to Himiko's and Kaon's lovelove-6-minutes while writing this XDDD